Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
