youre lurking in front of me
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
