Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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