Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
