She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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