I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Another day, another engagement, another cat
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
