I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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