I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
