My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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