At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you will always have a special place in my vag
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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