I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize