Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
