I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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