I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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