the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
