i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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