Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
