I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
