Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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