There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
