im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
