Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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