just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
