Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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