he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
