so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
