Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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