the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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