Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
false alarm, still single
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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