What a fucking waste of an outfit
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
