she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
