Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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