I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
