I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
