Texts From Last Night

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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How was your Memorial Day?

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.

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  (717): How was your Memorial Day? (1-717): Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name. http://tfl.nu/grou
  Replies (10) Good night (3867) Bad night (776)
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  (510): View more from California

  The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.

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  (510): The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker. http://tfl.nu/49dy
  Replies (25) Good night (4387) Bad night (824)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?

  (206): View more from Washington

  joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!

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  (206): remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine? (206): joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/ignl
  Replies (13) Good night (2154) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.

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  (780): Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero. http://tfl.nu/3vt3
  Replies (7) Good night (4566) Bad night (790)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.

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  (816): He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP. http://tfl.nu/4ge4
  Replies (23) Good night (6442) Bad night (1307)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles

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  (204): Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles http://tfl.nu/rk9c
  Replies (13) Good night (2638) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.

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  (570): I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem. http://tfl.nu/6woq
  Replies (3) Good night (2868) Bad night (901)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.

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  (954): I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people. http://tfl.nu/j7bv
  Replies (10) Good night (1912) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"

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  (307): It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically" http://tfl.nu/yzem
  Replies (7) Good night (693) Bad night (1360)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol

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  (814): Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol http://tfl.nu/gohb
  Replies (5) Good night (930) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving

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  (641): and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/ilw7
  Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.

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  (814): I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible. http://tfl.nu/cmea
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.

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  (631): Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less. http://tfl.nu/jxdo
  Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (347)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.

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  (336): I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now. http://tfl.nu/ru0z
  Replies (6) Good night (297) Bad night (795)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.

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  (302): I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth. http://tfl.nu/icea
  Replies (0) Good night (195) Bad night (372)

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