I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
