why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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