Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize