when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
