So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
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The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
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Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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