i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
