lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
