I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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