I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Randomize
