Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Damn victory sex feels great
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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