Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
