1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
