so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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