There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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