when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
