Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
