I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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