i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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