Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
