No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
