I can text with my tongue
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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