well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
