Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
