I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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