Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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