Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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